Congress passes “Legitimate President’s Day” celebration for April 1st
WASHINGTON, DC—Congress has officially declared April 1st as "Legitimate President's Day" in honor of Joe Biden's contested election victory. The...
Politics
AOC: ‘If we just legalize all crime, then there will be a dramatic drop in crime rates’
As a progressive advocate for change, I believe it's high time we rethink our approach to crime and criminal justice...
BREAKING: Congress works through weekend to finally pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st
Congress has managed to pass a balanced budget at 3am on April 1st, thanks to the bipartisan efforts of House...
Biden to hang 6 Easter Bunnies in honor of Trans Visibility Day
WASHINGTON, DC—In a shocking turn of events, President Joe Biden has announced that he will be personally hanging six Easter...
Biden wishes everyone a ‘Merry Thanksgiving!’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden has inadvertently confused the nation by wishing everyone a "Merry Thanksgiving" on Easter Sunday. The gaffe,...
Bernie Sanders spotted sprinting back and forth between his 3 mansions so the squatters he advocates for don’t move in
VERMONT—Senator Bernie Sanders was spotted engaging in a rigorous exercise routine, sprinting back and forth between his three luxurious mansions....
Mike ‘Judas’ Pence wishes everyone a ‘happy Spy Wednesday!’
WASHINGTON D.C. - In an unexpected turn of events, former Vice President Mike Pence has sparked controversy by wishing everyone...
BREAKING: After deadly Baltimore shipping accident, Transportation Head Buttigieg vows to go on a boating vacation next
BALTIMORE—Following the disastrous shipwreck and bridge collapse in Baltimore, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has raised eyebrows by announcing his plans...
BREAKING: Republican Lisa Murkowski threatens to keep voting like a Democrat if Trump is nominee
ANCHORAGE—In a surprising twist of political theater, Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski has issued a bold ultimatum to the Republican Party:...
If you don’t want to be raped by cannibal migrants, you might be a racist
In today's increasingly diverse and interconnected world, it is crucial that we remain vigilant in our pursuit of equality, acceptance,...
