Elon Musk opens salt mines sourced from liberal tears as Trump wins 2024 election
AUSTIN—Elon Musk has revealed that he has opened a new source of salt mines, which he claims are sourced entirely...
Politics
WARNING: Call your doctor if your election is painful or lasts longer than 4 days
US—Physicians across the country are recommending a little red pill that does wonders for your election but warn that if...
Several cities boarding up stores in preparation for massive ‘joy’ from Democrats in case Trump wins
PORTLAND—Several liberal cities across the United States have begun boarding up stores in preparation for the massive "joy" from Democrats...
BREAKING: Peanut the squirrel teams up with Harambe to posthumously endorse Donald Trump
NEW YORK—The spirit of Peanut the Squirrel has teamed up with Harambe the gorilla to posthumously endorse former President Donald...
Frustrated SNL Writers Hoping Harris Does Something To Make Fun Of
SNL’s head writer Kahm Eddie Isded has a problem most comedy writers dream of: a Vice President so flawless she’s...
Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies
President* Joe Biden has been spotted wearing his anti-bite collar once again, as concerns grow over his interactions with young...
FACT CHECK: Kamala Harris DID just fall out of a coconut tree
n a breaking and bizarre development, rumors are swirling that Vice President Kamala Harris was recently spotted tumbling out of...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for rescuing several babies from Biden Halloween sacrifice ritual
WASHINGTON, DC—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for rescuing several babies about to be eaten by President* Joe Biden...
Hillary Clinton to dress up as president for Halloween again
CHAPPAQUA, NY—Secretary Hillary Clinton has decided she will dress up as president of the United States yet again for Halloween....
BREAKING: Biden devours several children in playful new Halloween sacrifice ritual at White House
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has been caught on camera devouring several children in a new Halloween sacrifice tradition at the...
