The CDC has released an official statement on the recent outbreak of stupidity that is threatening to overtake the coronavirus outbreak as the nation’s biggest threat to public health.

The official statement:

Due to the recent outbreak of stupidity and panic-purchasing by complete idiots, the nation is currently experiencing a shortage of toilet paper and common sense.

We expect supplied to be replenished once these sheep-minded morons have all staved to death in their homes surrounded by toilet paper but without anything to eat.

A spokesman for the CDC said that this outbreak could last longer than the COVID-19 pandemic and that there is no known cure or treatment.

UPDATE: The CDC is admitting that they are contributing to the stupidity by encouraging people to do absolutely insane things to combat the disease.

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED MARCH 13, 2020.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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