BREAKING: Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached the US
Hot on the heals of the dual plagues of COVID-19 and the Asian murder hornets, Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached...
CDC
CNN: Bills safety Damar Hamlin suffers rare complication to climate change on MNF
(CNN) The US sports community was united in expressing concern Monday night after the collapse of Damar Hamlin during the game between...
BREAKING: Death by coincidence is at an all-time high
US—Medical experts from the Center for Disease Control and Perpetuation (CDC) have confirmed that deaths by coincidence are at an...
BREAKING: Twitter suspends the CDC for contradicting the CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned the Centers for Disease Control and Propagation (CDC) indefinitely from its platform...
BREAKING: Biden outlaws attempts to stop the spread of monkeypox as a hate crime
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has outlawed any attempt to try to stop the spread of monkey pox as a hate...
Fauci ‘feeling fine’ after latest booster
WASHINGTON, DC—America's Doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, says he's "feeling fine" following the latest COVID booster shot, which involves dozens of...
CDC releases new ‘mood ring’ that tells what COVID variant you have
ATLANTA—The US Centers for Disease Control and Promotion (CDC) are experts at science and all the science-y things. They come...
CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC
ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
