CDC predicts COVID will die out abruptly November 4th

General view of Centers for Disease Control and Prevention headquarters in Atlanta

ATLANTA—The CDC has assured the public that the COVID-19 virus will no longer pose a threat greater than the regular flu this fall. 

The report issued today sites 40 different “models” of various COVID-19 factors all with the goal of predicting when the virus would no longer be deadly or need to be feared. Most important these results do not take into account a possible vaccine. The CDC has clearly stated that, “regardless of the availability of a vaccine the danger will be over on November 4th.”

Dr. Anthony Fauci our leading expert on all things COVID-related was consulted by CDC and was in total agreement with the findings. 

The recommendations are for all life to go back to normal. Schools will all be open. There will no longer be restrictions on businesses. There will no longer be a need for social distancing. Masks will again be viewed as actually harmful rather than serve a purpose. Peter Mafuque described the report as “It’s basically an all clear date. Whatever you did in the past to avoid catching a cold or the flu is all that will be necessary.”

When asked by a reporter who covers the CDC for Fox News as to the significance of the pandemic being declared over on November 4th indicating that the current COVID regulations and restrictions might be a simply a political agenda, Mr. Mafuque said, “I don’t understand your question. Every single one of our ‘models’ have confirmed November 4th as the all clear day. This has nothing to do with politics.”

Loading

About Author

Congratulations!

You made it through the woke censors to see this post. Sign up below to get more funny directly to your inbox!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.