China tests new ‘Kamikaze 737’ jet with 130 Uyghurs onboard as possible Muslim ‘final solution’

SOUTH CHINA—If you are one of 12 million Chinese Uyghurs and you win a free trip to Disneyland you might want to think twice about getting on that plane. It could be one of the new “Kamikaze 737’ jets that China is testing as a quick way to eradicate Muslims; part of the national purification ‘final solution’ program.

Experts say even though it is expensive as the older 737 jets still cost millions, it still provides excellent cover for the Communist government of Xi Jinping who are claiming that flying is still one of the safest ways to travel and all Chinese airlines are required to perform taste tests on their in-flight food and drinks for added security.

A secret authority at the Beijing Institute of Minor Human Rights Issues speaking on condition of anonymity told us; “if planes can be aimed close to ground targets the kill ratio will be better and we will kill many birds in flock.” During the middle of our interview, the ‘whistleblower’ was taken away. We later found him in the hotel courtyard and they said he tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on some bullets.

We can only conjecture that there may have been a wiretap on our phones which would explain the fast Kung Pao takeout service. Our heartfelt condolences to their families.


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.