Deaf signer deliberately misquotes DeSantis: ‘Hurricanes make me super happy!’

FLORIDA—A deaf signer with ties to the Campaign To Re-Elect Joe Biden deliberately misquoted Republican presidential candidate Ron DeSantis during an update on Hurricane Idalia recovery efforts yesterday.

The signer, Deidre Hofstetter-McBride, made a number of deliberate “mistakes” during DeSantis’ speech at the State Emergency Operations Center.

Instead of “This hurricane has done significant damage to this community,” she signed “Hurricanes are so awesome! They make me super happy, people listen to everything I say and I get really positive media coverage from everyone, even CNN.”

Later, when DeSantis thanked workers and volunteers for helping with the massive clean-up, Hofstetter-McBride signed: “I like to play with dolls when I’m home alone. No-one knows about it, not even my wife, but I feel this is an appropriate time to share this with you all.”

Deaf people across the country were stunned by DeSantis “words,” many saying he’d never been so brutally honest, and funny.

“Now that I know he plays with dolls, I’m voting for him in 2024,” said a deaf Liberal from Ohio. “Who knew he was such a sweet guy who indulges in make-believe? That’s normally Joe Biden’s territory.”

A spokesman for DeSantis’ campaign said the signer was a democrat plant, and had previously been reprimanded for “looking way too happy” when signing about potential death and destruction. “She’s been trouble for a long time,” the spokesman said. “First, it was just bad grammar, then she started ruining Ron’s jokes to make them sound completely unfunny. Now, she’s telling outright lies about whether or not he’s told his wife about the dolls.”

Polls conducted after DeSantis’ speech showed a huge spike in his approval ratings, mostly from deaf voters who enjoy destructive hurricanes and/or playing with dolls.

Some Republican strategists pounced on the numbers, saying the governor’s team should promote Hofstetter-Bride to head speech writer. “She’s already proven she’s capable of making him seem more human,” said a former Iowa pollster. “Imagine what she’s capable of when she can use actual words instead of her hands?”

Hofstetter-Bride could not be contacted for comment, but the Union for Deaf Signers said she had received multiple threats to her hands and was in hiding, wearing oven mitts.

President Joe Biden said Republican deaf signers had been messing with his speeches for years. “They try to change my words and make me look stupid and incompetent, but I’m always one step ahead of them. That’s why I’m always whispering.”


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