Debates spark run on Biden look-alike puppies at kennels and pounds across America

“There is never going to be enough to fill the demand. At least until after the election,” Gillian Jacoby of Foxworth Kennels in Lancaster said of her puppies that look exactly like presidential nominee Joe Biden.

“Biden look-a-likes are pretty rare as it is. We get premium for ’em… four figures. Biden’s popularity just soared this week because of the debates, I guess. Demand on ‘Trumpers’ plateaued probably two years ago. I have three or four in the back right now. It’s all just symbolic.

“A lot of folks that come in here looking for a ‘Biden-like’ say it’s because they think he’s an underdog. I think they’re just trying to be a part of the bigger picture. If Biden loses the election, a lot of those Dem fluffballs will be getting’ returned.

“Back in 2016 we had over 50 Hillary look-alikes come back in three days. We had to put ’em all down. Ironic really, I mean she’s… you know, still… like that Energizer bunny. Yeah, we had a couple of people in here looking for Biden-bunnies, too. You’re not gonna find them on the open market. They start at ten, eleven grand on the black pet market. Friend of mine says he knows a guy whose brother saw a Biden-racoon in his garbage last week. Could be. Never know, right?”

Miss Jacoby also mentioned that Biden-likes need extra attention as they are often slow learners, hard to potty train and will piss all over you every chance they get.