CLEVELAND—The inanimate celestial body Sweet Meteor O’Death, which will be passing by Earth shortly before the US presidential election surged in the polls today after a dismal debate between the two human candidates Donald Trump and Joe Biden.
“Americans are tired and exhausted of the bickering and squabbling between old men. I just think Sweet Meteor offers a lot more of what the people want right now, which is a straightforward Apocalypse. Let’s just end it,” Peter Jenkins of Lawrence, Kansas said.
O’Death surged to 91 percent of the likely voters polled, which puts it in the driver’s seat of the election.
No celestial body has ever received votes in a presidential election, let alone win one.
“We could be seeing a sea change in people’s attitudes toward politics,” political analyst Hans Solo said. “Americans are turning more and more to third party candidates as a legitimate alternative to the standard partisanship and they’re looking at unconventional candidates like fiery death from above as acceptable options.”