DNC replaces 2020 convention with 5 minutes of loud, sustained yelling at images of Trump

After dismal ratings, the Democratic National Committee will do away with their traditional convention in 2020 and instead spend five minutes a day wailing and throwing things at projected images of Donald Trump.

Provocatively called “The Five Minutes Hate”, the prospective session is generating a good amount of buzz in Washington and beyond.

“People don’t want to hear articulate speakers and inspiring ideas anymore,” DNC chairperson Tom Perez said. “What really moves our party is being able to shout curse words at the big Orange Man that leads the other party.”

DNC organizers are excited about the new approach. “There’s nothing that can galvanize our base like a nice picture of the President’s wispy comb-over,” a DNC strategist said. “We might even include some of his first term accomplishments so they can be sarcastic as well as loud and hateful.”

“It’s very cathartic,” one registered Democrat said after participating in a local pilot session.

Some have questioned spewing hatred as the central rallying point, but Perez and his team are undaunted. “Hate is whatever Republicans say,” Perez said. “So, what we’re doing isn’t really hate, even though we call it ‘hate’. Hate is love when we do it, don’t you see?”