AUSTIN—Elon Musk has revealed that he has opened a new source of salt mines, which he claims are sourced entirely from the tears of liberals following Trump’s victory in the 2024 election. The announcement has sent shockwaves through the political and social media worlds, with many questioning the validity of Musk’s claims.

According to Musk, the salt mines are the result of a highly advanced technology that he has been developing for years. The technology, which Musk has dubbed the “Tear-Sucking Machine,” is capable of extracting tears from liberals who are mourning the loss of their favorite candidate in the 2024 election.

“We’ve been working on this technology for a long time,” said Musk in a recent press conference. “And I’m proud to say that we’ve finally achieved our goal of opening a new source of salt mines sourced from liberal tears.”

The announcement has sparked a heated debate on social media, with some users claiming that the salt mines are a sign of Musk’s support for Trump and his political agenda. Others have questioned the validity of Musk’s claims, arguing that it is impossible to source salt mines from tears.

However, Musk has stood firm in his claims, providing evidence of the salt mines and the Tear-Sucking Machine in action. “The evidence is clear,” said Musk. “We have a new source of salt mines, and they are sourced entirely from the tears of liberals.”

As the controversy continues to swirl, one thing is certain: the 2024 election will never be the same. With Elon Musk opening salt mines sourced from liberal tears, the stakes have never been higher for both candidates and their supporters.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts