Goodyear introduces new 2020 tires that only make left turns

Going all in on its recent zero tolerance for conservatives policy, Goodyear Tire Company is introducing its 2020 tires that only make left turns.

“We believe that the future is all left and if you want to turn tight for some reason in your car or in your political life, you’re going to have to buy some other tires,” Goodyear CEO Jeff Schmuck said.

Goodyear has also announced an exclusive deal with NASCAR Racing, citing the safety aspect, as their race cars only make left turns. “

Counter clockwise, and counter culture ” proclaims NASCAR safety director, noting a long history of NASCAR, which in fact was started by moonshiners evading the law.

Goodyear marketing director responds “With the hard left turn our company has made, this partnership is a perfect fit with NASCAR.”

Many are concerned that, while the special tires may send the right message, they might not be safe as most traffic accidents occur while people are turning left.

“To hell with safety,” Schmuck said. “This is about being woke!”


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