Sacrifice a human and 7 more ways to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day
Everyone knows that if you celebrate Columbus Day, you’re a Nazi bigot, so that’s why most woke cultures and municipalities...
woke
Victoria’s Secret replaces all ‘Angel’ lingerie models with Jabba the Hutt
NEW YORK CITY—In perhaps the wokest of all corporate wokeness, lingerie dealer Victoria's Secret has done away with its attractive...
WOKE: Victoria’s Secret replaces all ‘Angel’ lingerie models with Chet the human turd
NEW YORK CITY—In perhaps the wokest of all corporate wokeness, lingerie dealer Victoria's Secret has done away with its attractive...
Lego announces that all their minifigures have had sex change operations
BILLUND, DENMARK—The children's toy company Lego announced today that all the minifigures (the small Lego figurines) that you've been playing...
BREAKING: Supreme Court cancels itself after discovering ties to slavery
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief Justice of the Supreme Court John Roberts announced that the Supreme Court of the United States is cancelling...
LeBron James literally oppresses me by making millions playing a game a white man invented
Can we talk about the fact that LeBron James is literally killing me by making millions of dollars playing a...
To ensure equality, NBA will now end all games in 93-93 tie
LOS ANGELES—The National Basketball Association is putting its money where its social justice mouth is. To ensure equality in the...
BREAKING: NBA finally ends discrimination based on height
NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association (NBA) has ended its longstanding discriminatory policy on height after many allegations of teams excluding...
UPS commits to burning half of your packages if Derek Chauvin is acquitted
ATLANTA—UPS has increased the stakes in the woke corporation olympics. The package "delivery" service has committed to burning half of...
Ben & Jerry’s will discontinue vanilla ice cream to fight white supremacy
(FOX NEWS)—Ben & Jerry’s will discontinue vanilla-flavored ice cream to fight white supremacy, according to reports. The company’s decision will...
