BREAKING: Great white sharks to be renamed ‘white supremacist fish’

NEW YORK—Following a rash of shark attacks that have plagued American beaches this summer, activists are calling for renaming great white sharks “white supremacist fish.”

One beachgoer at Rockaway Beach, NY explained, “White people create an oppressive society and white sharks create an oppressive ocean. There is nothing ‘great’ about these beasts.”

A swimmer added, “These white sharks are gentrifying the ocean by eating everyone!”

Accordingly, the federal Department of the Interior as state that great white sharks will be renamed white supremacist sharks to more accurately reflect their problematic role in the animal kingdom.

President Biden, who is on vacation at Epstein Island, said that the change was appropriate.

“The number one threat to Americans is white supremacy and that includes American beach-goers,” Biden said.

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