HEAVEN—Heavenly sources issued a very rare statement yesterday, confirming that America is more evil than the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

“America has openly rebelled against G-D,” the Angel Gabriel said. “Its moral depravity, sexual perversions, grooming of young children into embracing some of the most heinous acts imaginable, celebration of infanticide, and a litany of other offenses far surpass even those committed by the residents of Sodom and Gomorrah. It deserves to be wiped out from the face of the Earth, but G-D has spared this land because of its benevolent treatment of its Jews.”

Earthly sources suggest that exactly no one will heed G-D’s warning, and business will continue as usual.

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Rafi Metz

Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.

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