The mystery of the coke found in the White House wouldn’t be the first time the Secret Service couldn’t solve a mystery that fell in its hands. Here are other mysteries the Secret Service couldn’t solve:

• What came first – the chicken or the egg? The Secret Service launched an investigation in 1875, which is still ongoing, to determine if the chicken or the egg came first. So far they’ve failed to produce evidence proving either claim.
• Who burnt down the White House in the War of 1812? The Secret Service accused the Russians of burning it down but they had no solid proof.
• Coke or Pepsi? The Secret Service has conducted dozens of taste tests and trials to figure out which drink is the best, but still couldn’t reach a definite outcome.
• The identity of the Joker: The Secret Service has been working on identifying the Joker for nearly a decade now and it doesn’t seem any closer to solving this long-time mystery. Maybe interviewing the Batman would be a good place to start.
• How President William Howard Taft got stuck in the bathtub: Although there’s absolutely no evidence whatsoever that this even happened, the Secret Service should still do its job and find out how he got stuck anyway. Who on earth gets stuck in a bathtub, let alone the president of the United States?!

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Rafi Metz

Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.

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