Well, the extremely crowded Democratic presidential field has suddenly gotten a little thinner. Julian Castro, the most woke candidate by far, hopped in a 1984 model Dolorian–owned by longtime friend Emmet Brown–and went back in time.

As he entered the quaint, idealistic, and not too distant past; Julian found himself spending most of his time with a much younger version of his mother. Certain of his moral clarity, and drunk on the ideas of the newly discovered concept of ‘reproductive justice’ Castro realized his opportunity to further empower the Great Awokening was nigh.

By entrenching its concepts in the idealistic past, he could give his mother a crash course in these newly discovered rights and justices, and then take credit for its greater advancement when he returned to the future.

Armed with a chalkboard and three colors of chalk, Castro began the project of Awokening his mom. He began with a study in the early ‘abortion movement’ when it was anchored to ‘privacy rights’, then its transition to ‘reproductive rights’, and finally where it ended with men dressed as women enjoying their own ‘reproductive justice.’

Castro’s mother was a fine student, absorbing every concept and historical achievement that he could lob. She found herself captivated by his lectures, her looks transitioning with her degrees of radical feminist/gender fluid enlightenment. First she cut off her long hair, then dyed it from coal black to pink, then she obtained a double mastectomy, and finally entered into the full embrace of abortion culture by killing her first child.

Inexplicably, Julian Castro has disappeared, and has not appeared at any campaign events recently.

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Earnest O'Connor

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