SPRINGFIELD—All area stores have completely sold out if their supply of 9mm vaccine passports amid a nation-wide shortage.

The shortage began last year, well before rumors started circulating that President Joe Biden was going to require vaccine passports for certain activities.

Many people looking to tell the president and his minions, “I got your vaccine passport right here, Karen,” are having trouble finding them.

“It’s just a combination of things — you got millions of new vaccine passport owners buying them right when COVID hit,” said Billy Fallon, the owner of Firing Line, an indoor firing range and vaccine passport shop in Westland. “Companies shut down because of COVID, and when they started back up, they were only at a quarter-staff. And the orders kept coming in.”

Now with a likely federal mandate, the shortage could reach unprecedented levels.

“We’re short on everything but just cannot keep the 9mm or the .40 caliber vaccine passports on the shelf,” Fallon said.

Some have been lucky.

“I got my vaccine passport last year before it was a thing. Now, any time someone asks for my vaccine passport, I can shove it right in their face,” passport owner Jerry Jabba of Springfield said.

_{Originally published 3/20/21}

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts