Micheal Moore’s nude workout video is getting people to stop eating— permanently

Most diets probably work one way or another but few people have the will power to stick with them. In the end, it’s calories in/calories out. Always has been. The rest is noise.

However, it looks like Micheal Moore has come up with a way to eat less and exercise more. He has offered his streaming service via Netflix for free during the coronavirus pandemic. So instead of wasting away in their homes eating 17 meals a day, quarantined people can view Micheal Moore doing the full monty, jumping and jiggling to bad ’80s electronic music and never want to eat again.

After just a few seconds most people will be filling up the nearest buckets with their stomach contents. After several filled buckets, the image of Mr. Moore (think Jabba the Hutt with glasses) is forever burned into the frontal lobe. Over 98 percent of people never fully recover their appetites.

To date, only a few have died of starvation or been placed in a Mental Health Facility. Three have requested their eyes sewn shut. Make that four.

One GT reporter did, unfortunately, get a brief glance of the video and has been in therapy since. This reporter is presently on IV supplements and rehydration, awaiting a sanitarium bed.