BREAKING: Skydiver who forgot parachute dies from coronavirus

Evidence is beginning to mount that young and healthy people can contract COVID-19 and die from the horrifying disease. Florida health officials reported that a 32-year-old Daytona resident, Carl Junior, with no preexisting conditions has died from coronavirus after jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.

“It’s true that most people who are at serious risk of dying from COVID-19 are those who are about to die from other diseases, but young and healthy people are dropping dead left and right too!” Florida coronavirus Czar Jed Goebbels said.

The Daytona man was not officially tested for coronavirus, but the doctor was pretty sure he had it and that a coughing fit was what caused him to forget his parachute and jump out of the airplane with only hisSpeedos.

The hospital will receive approximately $1.3 million for each COVID death but administrators assure us that this has nothing to do with the way the death was coded.

“This just goes to show that everyone needs to be fearful on this disease, not just a subset of unhealthy old-timers,” Goebbels added. “Everyone needs to panic a little more.”

For information on how to panic more during this crisis, please read GT’s Guide on Panicking during the Coronavirus Pandemic.