Experts are befuddled as to why refugees continue to pour in from socialist paradises like Cuba and Venezuela into evil capitalist prisons like the United States.

“They have everything you could want,” Rob Spinsuck of the Marx Foundation said, “free healthcare, food, and a wonderfully diverse population. It just doesn’t make sense that they’re coming to evil places like the United States that still hasn’t entered the 21st century with universal healthcare.”

Some experts point to the possibility of psychological tricks by the CIA to make the refugees think they don’t have the best quality of life you could ever ask for in Cuba and Venezuela.

“The United States is so Medieval,” documentary filmmaker Michael Moore said. “I mean, no billionaires have stepped up to fix the atrocious water supply in Flint, Michigan that is the responsibility of the government. How greedy can you get?”

We interviewed many refugees who made it to the United States but they were all brainwashed, saying, “Free market economies provide a better quality of life than socialist countries ever could.”

Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders is adamant about making the United States more like the countries where people are fleeing.

“It’s true that Venezuelans are starving to death,” Sanders said at a campaign stop, “but at least they’re all starving equally! Except of course the leaders.”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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