Local New York City resident Isaac Goldberg is very familiar with Hanukkah, having celebrated the holiday since he was a little boy. He still loves eating latkes and spinning the dreidel. While Mr. Goldberg feels a tremendous affinity to the holiday, he’d never thought in his wildest dreams that he’d experience a Hanukkah-like miracle of his own.

Like many Americans, Mr. Goldberg has been feeling the brunt of rising oil prices throughout the country. It’s been even harder for those who are living on a tight budget. So, imagine his shock and amazement when he went to his local gas station this week to fill up his car. Because of the high price of oil, he only filled up his car with enough oil to last one day, but an amazing miracle happened and the oil lasted for eight days straight!

“This is definitely a modern-day Hanukkah miracle,” Mr. Goldberg said. “If only those brave and courageous Maccabees were here to see it, they’d be pretty amazed themselves. It was an amazing miracle, indeed.”

Observers also noted another Hanukkah-like miracle this year, although not of the good variety: Joe Biden was only supposed to last as president for only one day, and has lasted for ten months. But that’s a story for a different time.

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Rafi Metz

Rafi is the king of satire, a master of his trade. Nobody is immune to his hyperbolic and satirical outrage. Nobody is spared from being the object of his incessant mockery. Because at the end of the day, everyone is a parody of themselves.

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