US facing ‘massive shortage’ of conspiracy theories as all of them have come true 
Stephen Colbert becomes neo-Nazi to garner funds from Southern Poverty Law Center 
Israel’s Pride Festival Near Ancient Site of Sodom and Gomorrah Cancelled Over 85% Chance of Fire and Brimstone 
Ilhan Omar Quietly Shuts Down Her “Quality Winary Center” as Ethics Scrutiny Intensifies 
Breaking: Bill Clinton Adopts Eric Swalwell: “He’s The Son I Never Had” 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies
NEW YORK—In a move that sent shockwaves through both tech and media industries, Elon Musk has announced his acquisition of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine
President John F. Kennedy was reportedly startled by loud noises and tripped, falling in his limousine during a motorcade through...
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas
On this day in 1963, the nation collectively held its breath as President John F. Kennedy embarked on what would...
Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless
As three esteemed gender studies triple-doctorates, we feel it is our duty to speak out against the incredible accomplishments of...
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball
President-elect Donald Trump has announced that he plans to replace the Federal Reserve with a far more reliable and trustworthy...
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’
Democrats have been celebrating the conviction of Jose Ibarra for the murder of Laken Riley as "A Very, Very Late...
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda
WASHINGTON, DC—White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said today that nuclear Armageddon has always been a key part of President*...
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance
PARIS—The Chinese track and field team that recently dominated the high jump at the 2024 Paris Olympics weren't all smiles—there...
CNN: How Biden’s global thermonuclear war could be great for your skin
In the beauty world, achieving a glowing complexion is the ultimate goal. And what better way to get that radiant...
California Election officials: ‘Count is taking so long because we’re waiting for people to die so that they can vote Democrat’
SACRAMENTO—California election officials have admitted that the counting process in their state is taking so long because they need to...
