Ocasio-Cortez done trying to sell socialism; skipping to genocide and starvation stages

According to Marxist philosophy, there are several stages of socialism. The first is the argumentation stage and establishing the moral superiority of the socialist system.

Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, the youngest person to be elected to the US House of Representatives, is finished with that stage. She’s done trying to convince people that socialism is the right thing to do and will be skipping directly to the later stages of socialism: the genocide and general starvation of the people stages.

“Citizens of the United States seem to be too tied to capitalism and all the wasteful eccentricities of that system, like toilet paper and food. They’re not going to be convinced of the moral superiority of socialism,” Ocasio-Cortez said in a press conference. “So, we’re going to skip the ‘marketing’ stage and move directly to the genocide and starvation stages of socialism.”

Supporters were wildly enthusiastic about the move, claiming that they’ve tried to convince people that socialism is the way to go, but they always end up failing when they can’t think of one socialist system that has ever worked in the entire history of mankind, despite countless attempts.

“It’s very difficult to convince someone to give up all the oppressive luxuries of capitalism like iPhones and running water, so we’re going to have to force them into socialism whether they like it or not… for their own good,” Nathan Snivel, an Ocasio-Cortez supporter said.

“This is why so many people had to die in Communist countries,” Ocasio-Cortez explained. “If they had just gone along with the Party, they wouldn’t have had to starve to death.”


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.