Donald Trump, the twice-impeached former president who was responsible for the Thirty Years’ War, the American Revolution, the French Revolution, World War I, and World War II, officially declared this past Tuesday night that he is running to retake the White House in 2024. If we don’t want a repeat of his disastrous first term in which he abided by the Constitution and made American great again, then we must impeach the evil Orange Man before it’s too late.

I’ve decided, therefore, to perform a public service and outline a very exhaustive case as to why Trump should be impeached ASAP.

Reason #1: Presidential Qualifications

The Constitution of the United States outlines a number of qualifications for the presidency, almost all of which the president does not meet. Among them:

• Article II, Section III, Clause I states that anyone whose last name is Trump and has fake orange hair is disqualified from the presidency.

• The president violates Clause II (ibid.) which states, “Any individual who is a citizen of the United States, who either mocks, ridicules, taunts, or sneers at any member of the Democrat Party, shall not qualify for president of the United States. This section shall become law on the twentieth day of January in the year of our Lord, Two-Thousand and Seventeen.”

• The president’s MAGA promises violate Article II, Section V (ibid.), which states, “Any individual who, after assuming the office of the president, shall attempt to make the United States of America great again in any way, shape, or form, shall be immediately removed from office, barring an impeachment proceeding.”

Reason #2: We’re Not a Democracy

Article VI states that anyone who mischaracterizes the United States and refers to the country as a democracy instead of a constitutional republic is disqualified from the presidency. Trump has made this blunder on more than one occasion.

Reason #3: Cruel & Unusual Punishment

The 8^th Amendment of the Bill of Rights bars the infliction of “cruel and unusual punishment.” Scholars argue that Trump’s presidency has caused Democrats and Never-Trumpers cruel and unusual punishment, which is an impeachable offense.

Reason #4: The Constitution is Unconstitutional

In the Supreme Court decision SCOTUS v. The Constitution, the Court ruled that the Constitution is unconstitutional. Scholars argue, therefore, that the president constitutionally abiding by the Constitution is contrary to the Constitution which is unconstitutional, which is an impeachable offense.

Reason #5: Abuse of Pardoning Power

Scholars argue that the president has repeatedly abused his pardoning power. They cite numerous instances of the president accidentally bumping into people and then stating after each instance, “Pardon me.” They argue that this is an abuse of the president’s pardoning power, which is an impeachable offense.

I believe I’ve laid out a very strong case for impeaching Trump. It is my fervent hope that Congress considers my article seriously before another constitutional crisis is born. For the sake of democracy.

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