Ok dear reader, if I know you, and you certainly know me, then I know you are having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. If you are not one of my dear readers, and are not fully aware of the metaphorical comet that is Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, coming in like that lame Bruce Willis movie and destroying all the fun, then let me help illustrate the severity of our moment.
You know in Harry Potter when Voldemort shoots that fireball at Harry and then tries to steal his soul? But the young excitable wizard ninja dodges the fireball and destroys Voldemort for the third time? Well we’re in our third iteration of destroying Voldemort. The first was when Roe v Wade was very coherently and super constitutionally decided. The second was with Planned Parenthood v Casey, when Voldemort popped back up and super Justice Anthony Kennedy sent him back to the firey bowels of hell with his fantastic majority opinion injecting the right to make shit up and call it truth right squarely in the constitution.
Well now (presumably new) readers, Voldemort’s back with a vengeance. He’s come to fire his dastardly fireballs at the super entrenched federal right to infanticide. And We. Must. Stop. Him. This will take a concerted effort by the perennial American little guys of the Fortune 500, 29 of the 30 top billionaires (minus that fascist Elon Musk), NGO’s, super doctor Fauci, the industrial media complex, the Democratic National Committee, and our lovely shock troops of Antifa and BLM.
That Goliath Samuel Alito (Voldemort guyz) must be stopped, by our scrappy multinational billionaire Harry Potter little guys. We can do it. We just have to have faith.
Oh and if that doesn’t work. Then it’s time to scrap SCOTUS and build our own judicial platform.
Originally published May 4, 2022