A poll conducted by the Pew Pew Institute shows that a majority of Americans are unimpressed with their 12-month free trial of communism.
“It kinda sucks,” 19-year-old New York resident Britta Fowler said of the trial. “I was expecting all this free stuff, which I guess we’re getting, but I didn’t think that we’d be paying for all that free stuff and I didn’t expect empty store shelves, house arrest for everyone, and power outages. It’s really lame!”
The free trial, which was touted by CNN and MSNBC, was imposed involuntarily by President* Joe Biden executive order.
“Yeah, they’re giving us some of our own money but what good is that if you can’t spend it on anything you want?” Fowler asked.
“We thought we’d entice the people everywhere into communist one-world government with a trial run,” USBS Secretary John Lennon said. “We thought, hey, it works with Netflix, so it should work with the NWO!”
The federal government worked with the Chinese government and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to launch a deadly disease for the free trial kick-off.
“Everything went well but only a few Karens across the country are really enjoying it.” Lennon added. “They really revel in telling people to ‘stay the f**k home!’”
“I don’t think I’ll continue with all this communist stuff after the free trial. I kinda like being able to do stuff with people and have electricity,” Fowler said.