MOSCOW—Russian President Putin assured the Western powers that his troops are leaving the Ukraine border.

“The high-season is coming and tourists will be flocking to see the beautiful sights in the Ukraine so we will leave a few buses for the tourists only. The Russian people have been saving their coupons for all of the Ukrainian amusement parks and museums during the long, hard dark winter months and are looking forward to the annual ‘Snowbird migration’ as we like to call it.”

NEATO forces will still be on high alert while vacationing themselves on the French Riviera as most restaurants along the Mediterranean coast offer crepes and blackberries in a light cream sauce as part of their continental breakfasts.

The Biden administration announced that they will be drawing a red line as soon as the White House red Sharpie can be found. The White House cat, Willow, has been faulted on a number of occasions for taking the pen and licking the ink.

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