SEATTLE, WA- Minutes after receiving her fourth wuflu vaccination shot, local woman Heather Jarrett stood outside the hospital entrance and berated other visitors for not caring about society as much as she does.
“You’re murders! All of you!” Heather yelled through her seven masks. “I’m the only person fulfilling their patriotic duty here!”
When one man wearing five masks approached Heather and told her he’s been triple vaccinated, Heather called him a “right-wing nazi” and accused him of spreading disinformation.
The man reportedly skipped his doctor’s appointment to treat his myocarditis and opted to receive a fourth vaccination shot instead.
“Intimidation is how we will end this pandemic,” a triumphant Ms. Jarrett told reporters. “Not all heroes wear capes.”
The tirade ended when the left side of Heather’s face started drooping and she collapsed to the ground.