BREAKING: Biden mandates frontal lobotomies for all federal employees, citing science
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden called on state and local governments to use COVID-19 relief funds to give $100
COVID-19
CDC opens ‘Faucitown’ where residents can drink vaccines mixed in Kool-Aid every day
FAUCITOWN, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have opened a village called Faucitown
It’s racist to include vaccinated people in COVID death data right now
COVID is not done. Not even close. As CNN and MSNBC have made very clear,
Lightfoot urges all Chicagoans to get vaccinated to keep everyone safe while shooting each other this weekend
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, urging Chicagoans to get the COVID vaccine to
Experts confused why COVID cases are spiking in areas they’re sending untested immigrants
US—Health experts are utterly confused as to why cases of the deadly COVID virus are
Rand Paul installs new height requirement to prevent Fauci from lying to Congress
WASHINGTON, DC—Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) has installed a new height requirement in the Senate Committee
Die from the COVID vaccine? That’s how you know it’s working.
I hear a lot of people complaining about the “adverse events” they experience after the
Biden confirms that all door-to-door vaccine-checkers will be named Karen
WASHINGTON, DC—Providing more details for the unprecedented door-to-door vaccination checkers in his new COVID vaccine
Cuomo to put armed violent felons in nursing homes to fight gun violence
ALBANY, NY—New York Governor Andrew Cuomo plans on killing 15,000 elderly people with gun violence
Delta+ now streaming! Act now and get Lambda Variant at no extra cost!
BURBANK, CA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) on Tuesday officially launched Delta+ variant