Sanders campaign defines ‘socialism’ as being social with people on their way to internment camps

Socialism? Yuk. Gulags, mass murder, mass starvation, deprivation everywhere, disease. That’s not a pretty picture to present to potential voters. I mean who wants to starve to death? Maybe if you’re really fat, but not everyone, that’s for sure. But words and meanings can evolve on social media and that’s exactly what the Bernie Sanders campaign is doing.

Let’s take Twitter. Known as the Sewer of the World. Rants, raves, foul language, racism, sexism, xenophobia, Islamophobia, deplorables, “u name it”. (Thanks HRC). But it’s all true on Twitter. At one time or another, we’ve all been sickened by what people have posted.

However, that is all going to change under a Sanders administration. We are going to see a new world under socialism. First, the word will be re-defined. Socialism: to be social and nice to everybody on social media while stressing how nice life can be where nobody has any more than anyone else, everyone is permanently happy and everybody likes you.

This is in line with recent poll of Millennials.

Merriam-Webster has partnered with Bolton Books to remove all dictionaries in print and replace them with this updated definition. Online dictionaries are already being changed in anticipation. Other words to be re-defined? Starvation. Poverty. Malnutrition. Toilet Paper. Food……… So let’s root for Bernie, clean up social media and remind ourselves of his new slogan, “Words have meaning; just not yours.”


"Excuse me, has this joke been fact-checked?"

Bypass Zuck and his minions and receive hilarious "unauthorized" satire to your inbox, every day.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.