Governors of several American states have declared a state of emergency after flash floods of liberal tears have inundated their largest cities.

“We’re seeing the equivalent damage of dozens of hurricanes all across the country,” NOAA meteorologoist Ned Flagengenden said. “It’s really unprecedented.”

The cause appears to be the confirmation of Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court, which then opened up the flood gates of an already teary liberal population.

“The tears keep coming,” one self-identified lefty sobbed as she slowly stepped into her canoe used to get groceries. “The world is ending [unintelligible] literally Hitler!”

It’s still unclear but the high-water mark appears yet to have been reached in this 100-year flood.

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts