According to a study conducted by the International Climate Literal Science Expert Group there has been a sharp increase in CO2 in the earth’s atmosphere following an outbreak of fires in the Amazon basin.
But the rise in C02 was not caused by the actual fires, the ICLSEG says, it was caused by all the hot air spewing out of the mouths of leftists who are complaining about the fires.
“The Amazon produces more than 20% of the world’s oxygen,” says ICLSEG’s president, Happy Crappyass. “And that’s usually enough for everyone in the world to breathe, but not when we have a a bunch of leftists complaining about something like this.”
Supposedly, there are 85% more fires in the Amazon this year than there were last year, which has caused many to become incensed, start protesting, and shouting about Brazil’s new president Jair Bolsonaro and U.S. president Donald Trump.
French president Emmanuel Macron added about 35 tons of C02 to the atmosphere when he said that the Amazon fires meant that everything was on fire. “My pants are on fire. Literally. The Amazon is the only reason that we can breathe, and the whole thing is disappearing as we speak #ActForTheAmazon” he Tweeted this week.
Progressives everywhere have used this crisis as a vindication of their climate conspiracies and a reason to bewail their climate skeptic foes. While the fires have added about 103 tons of C02 to the atmosphere, all of the weeping and wailing that followed has added an estimated 8,367 tons of C02 to the earth’s ecosystem.
“It’s a crime what’s happening in the Amazon,” Crappyass said, “but the loud obnoxious yelling is actually worse for our environment than the fires are.”