BREAKING: Millions of women report for handmaid duty following Trump’s stunning victory
US—The federal government have instructed millions of women across the country to report for "handmaid duty" following Donald Trump's stunning...
Alejandro Mayorkas
BREAKING: Mayorkas says that FEMA has investigated itself and found it has done nothing wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—In a development sure to restore America’s unwavering confidence in government self-oversight, Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas triumphantly announced...
BREAKING: DOJ warns Russia ‘do not interfere with our interference of our elections’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a rare moment of transparency, Attorney General Merrick Garland issued a stern warning to Russia to...
LIFE HACK: American Seniors flying to Mexico to come back as illegal immigrants to get better state benefits
Thousands of senior citizens are flying to Mexico and walking back over the US border as illegal aliens in order...
BREAKING: Iranian Army Marches Across Southern U.S. Border, Claiming Asylum
US BORDER—An unexpected group has joined the ranks of asylum-seekers at the southern U.S. border – none other than the...
Mayorkas & Blinken’s ancestors also negotiated Manhattan deal for the Indians
In a stunning historical revelation, intrepid historians have unearthed documents proving that the ancestors of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas...
BREAKING: Mayorkas splurges on border wall materials he gave away when walls were evil
THE BORDER—In a stunning twist of events at the U.S.-Mexico border, Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas has...
Mayorkas assures us the Disinformation Board will only infringe on free speech for our own good
WASHINGTON, DC—Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas on Sunday claimed that the new Disinformation Governance Board would only infringe on the...
Violators of Biden’s new disinformation policy will be forced to listen to Nina Jankowicz sing for 66 straight hours
US—When DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas announced the Biden administration's Disinformation Governance Board this week, it was unclear exactly what penalty...
