Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

BREAKING: April Fool’s Day cancelled because reality is so ridiculous

Exavier Saskagoochie April 1, 2025 0

US President* Joe Biden has cancelled the national holiday April Fool's Day due to severe competition from the ridiculousness of...

Democrats explain that painting Swastikas everywhere and torching immigrant businesses ‘Isn’t Fascism, It’s Democratic Fascism’

Exavier Saskagoochie March 13, 2025 0

SEATTLE–Leading Democrats have unveiled a groundbreaking defense of their latest grassroots initiative: painting swastikas on public buildings and setting fire...

AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles

Exavier Saskagoochie March 4, 2025 0

Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) expressed outrage today over a disturbing trend in Germany, where terrorists have been using gas-guzzling, fossil-fuel-powered...

AOC: ‘USAID money laundering protects us from all the germs on money’

Deep Thoughts by AOC February 12, 2025 0

Listen, I’ve been saying it for years: Money is disgusting. Like, scientifically, microbially, tuna-smelling disgusting. A single dollar bill can...

Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation

Jeremy Spoken February 4, 2025 0

WASHINGTON, DC–In a dramatic press conference held in the shadow of the Capitol, Democratic leaders have issued a dire warning...

AOC horrified by new ICE detention facilities popping up everywhere

Exavier Saskagoochie January 28, 2025 0

After being horrified by the ICE detention facility parking lot last year, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been stricken with PTSD...

BREAKING: AOC claims she was nearly raped by Trump’s inauguration ceremony

Exavier Saskagoochie January 20, 2025 0

WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made the audacious claim that she was nearly raped by Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration...

AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’

Deep Thoughts by AOC January 15, 2025 0

I don't know who needs to hear this but global warming is not a hoax. It's real. I'm sitting here...

AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California

Exavier Saskagoochie January 13, 2025 0

In an astonishing revelation that has left the progressive community reeling, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) expressed her horror upon discovering...