BREAKING: Jill Biden arrested for elderly abuse
WILMINGTON, DE—After months of forcing her senior-citizen husband President* Joe Biden into the public spotlight despite his embarrassing declining cognitive inabilities, Jill...
Joe Biden
BREAKING: Donald Trump indicted for murdering elderly man on national television
ATLANTA—Former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the alleged murder of current President* Joe Biden during a live television...
New rules for CNN debate: Trump will be in a sound-proof glass room and only be able to respond using sign language
ATLANTA—In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, CNN has announced that it will be implementing new rules for its...
EXCLUSIVE: Preview of Presidential Debate Between Trump and Biden
Genesius Times was able to obtain exclusive footage of the future debate between President Donald Trump and President* Joe Biden....
BREAKING: Congress narrowly avoids being fiscally responsible again
WASHINGTON, DC—In a feat of financial acrobatics that left economists shaking their heads and taxpayers reaching for aspirin, Speaker Mike...
White House Report ‘Inflation is Way Down’ After Excluding Gas, Food, Housing
In a brilliant move to piggyback off the FBI's new method of reporting crime, the White House has announced that...
Biden: ‘Imprisoning Political Enemies Is the Only Way to Save Democracy’
President* Joe Biden has declared that "imprisoning political enemies is the only way to save democracy", in what many are...
FBI Reports ‘Crime is Way Down’ After Changing the Definition of Crime to Exclude Murder and Theft
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI has reported that crime is "way down" in the United States, after changing the definition of crime...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden guilty verdict overturned after 300,000 not guilty votes were found at 3am
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, Hunter Biden's guilty verdict on gun charges has been overturned after 300,000...
Biden Confuses Juneteenth Festival for Cotton Picking Festival
In a shocking and unexpected turn of events, President* Joe Biden was seen at a Juneteenth festival at the White...
