WASHINGTON–During an online interview from his basement, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden said, “I will do everything in my power to save the Pony Express.” In return, the long dead Pony Express has wholeheartedly endorsed Biden.

The comment comes at a time when mail has become a controversial political topic of late.

“Trump is trying to dismantle the Pony Express, and by golly, I’m not going to let that happen,” Biden said. “I remember when I was a kid getting packages from the Pony Express–from a rider by the name of Corn Pop McQuick. It just brightened my day, tell you what.”

It’s unclear whether Biden understands that the Pony Express does not exist any more. He was recently endorsed by the US Postal Workers Union.

The union criticized Republican President Donald Trump and his administration for refusing “to provide the necessary financial relief that would strengthen the agency during this pandemic.”

“If we don’t give the Pony Express several billions of COVID dollars, they ain’t gonna last, and that ain’t slack, Jack,” Biden said.

Winston Fizzybottoms, the last Pony Express rider living at 132 years old, was excited to hear he was back in the saddle with Biden.

“Shiver me timbers, I’m going to ride again!” Fizzybottoms said.

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