BETHESDA,MD–President Trump was slammed recently due to his unauthorized restroom visit as a COVID-19 patient at Walter Reed hospital. Critics took to Twitter and Facebook to jab at the president.

“If he were really sick, he would not be running around like that!” said Don Lemon, “The president is a liar!”

“I hope he didn’t spread the Coronavirus to anyone else on his little trip,” said Bill Maher.

“Actions like these beg the question,” said Michael Moore, “whether or not his coronavirus is okay?”

The funniest insults and criticisms against Trump were posted on Mewe.com but we would never visit that website.

The unauthorized visit entailed a spontaneous, thirty second trip to the restroom.

“I don’t know why people are mad about my visit,” said President Trump, “It was brief, precautions were taken, and it was declared to be safe for everyone medically. These people who are criticizing me must not care about the opinions of people like doctors and nurses.”

We approached Dr. Fauci to comment on this situation but were told he was too busy working on a cure for Inevitable Biden Syndrome.

We had to settle for the head doctor at Walter Reed.

“The president’s actions were authorized by my staff and I,” said Army General and Doctor Jeff Clark, “when a grown man wants to go to the bathroom, we’re not going to tell him no.”

Multiple sources have confirmed that the president’s bathroom was adorned with Trump flags, MAGA hats, red roses, and a blue tooth speaker which played Ted Nugent’s greatest hits.

In a show of solidarity, Democrats nation wide have spoken out against bathrooms.

“The President’s behavior is the epitome of recklessness,” said California Governor Gavin Newsom, “Unauthorized visits of any kind are not in the spirit of lockdowns! Democrats, join me and my comrades in San Francisco and poop on sidewalks!”

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