BREAKING: Twitter bans Elon Musk for life, saying that firing them violates Twitter’s Terms of Service

SILICON VALLEY, CA—Twitter, On Monday, announced the platform would permanently ban Elon Musk for violating their terms of service by announcing his plans to fire 75% of Twitter’s existing workforce upon taking ownership of the platform last week. The move is the latest in Twitter’s ongoing battle to remain the world’s leader in woke, leftist, globalist propaganda, amid Musk’s public advocacy of free speech.

Musk had been in negotiations with Twitter’s Board of Directors for months in a bid to purchase the social media platform in the hope of creating a new form of social media on the foundation of an existing infrastructure. His controversial idea is to open the platform to include users who may hold radical views like those espoused by the overwhelming number of people who have ever lived.

In an open letter to Musk published on Tuesday, concerned Twitter employees said that Musk’s plan to allow free speech on the platform going forward, represents a serious threat to the public dialogue. “The fringe views of the preponderance of the present and historic human community have no place in the common discourse of a civilized and inclusive society like the one Twitter exists to promote,” they said.

Musk is on record as stating that people who think that no man can ever become pregnant or that having orange skin doesn’t necessarily make a person a racist, should be able to say so without risk of cancellation. Twitter employees cited these statements in their decision, Monday, to ban Musk from the platform. “If we have anything to say about it, Musk will have nothing to say about it.  He’ll never again be able to use Twitter to tell the world that he owns Twitter, and then it’ll be like it never happened.”

We visited Twitter headquarters to conduct interviews for this article, but were not able to speak to any Twitter employees, because they wouldn’t allow us to say anything to them. Fortunately, Twitter censors meticulously observe a “First, Last, and Only Word” policy, so they spoke to us. They told us that all Twitter employees remain convinced that nothing can ever be real if it isn’t said on Twitter, so banning Musk from the platform will mean he could never actually own the company and so, he could never fire them. One employee told us, “Imagine his arrogance.  We’ve got him in checkmate and he’s too stupid to see it.”


About Author


You made it through the woke censors to see this post. Sign up below to get more funny directly to your inbox!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.