Mamdani Opens New NYC Restaurant Allowing Comrades to Literally ‘Eat the Rich’
New York, NY – Mayor Zohran Mamdani proudly cut the ribbon today on The Guillotine Grill, the city’s first municipally...
Elon Musk
Newsom Threatens to Seize Elon Musk’s Entire $1.1 Trillion to Fund Another 0.0 Miles of His High-Speed Rail Project
SACRAMENTO — Governor Gavin Newsom announced Tuesday that his administration is exploring legal avenues to confiscate Elon Musk’s full $1.1...
Elon Musk Sleeping Horribly Due to His Hoarding $1 Trillion in Cash Under His Mattress
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk, CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, and several other ventures valued in the hundreds of billions, is...
“Elon Musk Is a Parasite,” Say Politicians Who Live Entirely on Extorted Taxpayer Money
WASHINGTON — A bipartisan coalition of lawmakers denounced billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk as a “parasite” Tuesday, arguing that his companies’...
BREAKING: House halts funding vote due to water main leak
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. House of Representatives hit the brakes on its long-awaited vote to end the 43-day government shutdown Wednesday...
BREAKING: Pope Leo XIV offers to host peace talks between Trump and Elon
VATICAN CITY—Pope Leo XIV has thrown his mitre into the ring, offering to mediate a high-stakes peace summit between former...
Leftists Scramble to Put Out Fires They Started on Their Teslas Now That Elon Is Feuding with Trump
US—Left-leaning Tesla owners across the country are frantically trying to extinguish the fires they set on their own electric vehicles...
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries
In a surreal twist of environmental activism, a group of climate warriors calling themselves "GreenSmoke Revolution" staged a fiery protest...
AOC vows to torch her Tesla made by that ‘stupid billionaire’ as soon as she figures out how those magic firesticks work
In a bold move to rally young Democrat voters, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) has pledged to set her Tesla ablaze,...
Scientists now say that burning Teslas to the ground is better for the environment than not doing so
PALO ALTO, CA – Several scientists from the Institute of California Social Justice Science (ICSJS) released a study yesterday claiming...
