WASHINGTON, DC—Following the House indictment of Trump ally Steven Bannon for Contempt of Congress, the House, led by Speaker Nancy Pelosi was forced to indict 90 percent of the country for the same thing.

“Let’s be honest, if we’re going to charge one person with contempt of Congress, we need to be fair and charge everyone with it. They all have contempt for us!” Pelosi said.

A recent poll from the Pew Pew Institute placed the approval of Congress squarely at 10%.

Merrick Garland, head of the US Stasi, said that it’s only fair to arrest everyone who has contempt for Congress if they’re going to arrest one person for contempt of Congress.

Steve Bannon, a longtime ally to former President Donald Trump, was indicted Friday on two counts of contempt of Congress after he defied a congressional subpoena from the Home committee investigating the rebellion on the U.S. Capitol.

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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