The youngest NFL team to make it to a Super Bowl is thrilled about their big participation trophy.

“Our self esteem is satisfactory, and that’s all that really matters,” Coach Sean McVay said. “We identify as Super Bowl winners and none of you or the reality of the matter can take that away from us.”

After getting awards for nothing their entire lives, the all-millennial cast of the LA Rams team is content.

“We won, Mom!” receiver Robert Woods said in the post-game press conference.

“I’m going to put this trophy next to the other 67,023 I have!” running back Todd Gurley exclaimed.

“Oh, yeah, you better believe we’re going to Disneyland!”

Jeremy Spoken

None of the snowflakes in an avalanche feels responsible.

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