BREAKING: After seeing border crisis first hand in Texas, Biden promises to send $20B more to secure Ukraine’s border
EL PASO—President* Joe Biden walked a muddy stretch of the U.S.-Mexico border and inspected a busy port of entry Sunday on his...
Month: January 2024
Biden Warns U.S. Constitution Is Likely ‘Russian Disinformation’
WASSHINGTON, DC—In a jaw-dropping revelation that has left legal scholars and history enthusiasts bewildered, President Joe Biden took to the...
TX Gov Abbott installs more razor wire along the Southern border to halt the catastrophic effects of climate change
EAGLE PASS, TX—In a groundbreaking move that has left both environmentalists and immigration advocates scratching their heads, Texas Governor Greg...
BREAKING: Nikki Haley Wins New Hampshire Democrat Primary
CONCORD, New Hampshire—In a stunning turn of events, Nimrata Haley, the Republican candidate, emerged victorious in the New Hampshire Democrat...
Texas Decorates Border Fence With Evidence Of Hunter Biden’s Crimes To Get Federal Agents To Totally Ignore It
In a daring move that could rival any Hollywood heist, Texas has unveiled its latest strategy to divert federal attention...
BREAKING: Supreme Court lets Texas keep defending its border if it changes its name to Israel
AUSTIN—In a surprising turn of events, the Supreme Court has extended an unprecedented offer to Texas, allowing the Lone Star...
SCOTUS rules that razor wire can only be used to protect politicians from US citizens, not the US from invasion
WASHINGTON, DC—In a groundbreaking decision that left border security advocates scratching their heads and politicians breathing sighs of relief, the...
Texas Identifies As Ukraine So Biden Admin Will Let Them Protect Their Border
AUSTIN—In a bold move that left political analysts scratching their heads and cartographers scrambling for updated maps, Texas has officially...
New D.C. Statue Of Mitch McConnell Discovered To Just Be Mitch McConnell
WASHINGTON, DC—what was initially believed to be a grand statue honoring Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell in the heart of...
TRANS WIN: Sports Illustrated replaces entire staff with people who are fired but identify as employed
In a stunning twist that has left the media industry scratching its collective head, Sports Illustrated has chosen to revolutionize...
