Terrified terrorists now using soup cans with string for communications
In a bizarre twist of events, international terrorist groups have traded in their encrypted messaging apps and advanced technology for...
Month: September 2024
Oprah Winfrey hosts Harvey Wienstein reunion party in support of Kamala Harris
HOLLYWOOD HILLS — Oprah Winfrey, queen of daytime television and undisputed gatekeeper of celebrity culture, has outdone herself once again...
BREAKING: Gavin Newsom Signs Bill Making It Illegal for Anyone in California to Talk Except Him
SACRAMENTO, CA – In a bold legislative move that has left political analysts, constitutional scholars, and anyone with a mouth...
Guinness World Records awards Mossad for ‘Most Vasectomies at One Time’ surpassing 2024 Democratic Convention
In a ceremony filled with pomp and, ironically, very little circumstance, Guinness World Records awarded the Israeli Mossad the coveted...
Trump is literally trying to steal our democracy by not dying in his assassination attempts
The real tragedy of our time isn’t the soaring inflation, crumbling infrastructure, or the total collapse of bipartisan cooperation—no, the...
BREAKING: Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs has tragically committed suicide in Manhattan jail tomorrow
NEW YORK—Sean “Diddy” Combs, the iconic hip-hop mogul, has tragically committed suicide in a Manhattan jail tomorrow. Despite the event...
BREAKING: DOJ charges 2nd would-be Trump assassin with jaywalking and mostly-peacefully protesting without a permit
MAR-A-LAGO, FL The man who allegedly attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump has been formally charged—not with attempted murder,...
Trump politely asks CIA snipers to not murder him while he is golfing, thanks
In a move of pure presidential class, Donald Trump has taken to social media to make a simple, yet heartfelt...
BREAKING: CIA fires Trump would-be assassin Routh for failing mission
In a shocking turn of events, the CIA has officially pulled the plug on its notorious "Trump Sniper Program" after...
OpEd: When are we going to have common sense ‘White Dudes for Harris’ control?
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it’s time we all face a cold, hard truth: every crime...
