BREAKING: Millions of women report for handmaid duty following Trump inauguration
US—The federal government have instructed millions of women across the country to report for "handmaid duty" following Donald Trump's stunning...
Month: January 2025
BREAKING: 8 inches of global warming dumped on South Louisiana
In what can only be described as Mother Nature's twisted sense of humor, South Louisiana woke up this morning to...
BREAKING: World stunned to hear a US president form complete sentences for the first time in 4 years
WASHINGTON, DC—In an astonishing turn of events, the global community was taken aback as the newly inaugurated President of the...
BREAKING: Trump finishes insurrection started 4 years ago by becoming president again
WASHINGTON, DC—In a plot twist that would have even the most seasoned Hollywood screenwriter scratching their head, Donald J. Trump...
BREAKING: Biden issues comprehensive list of everyone involved in federal crimes
WASHINGTON, DC—In a hilarious final act before his departure from office, President* Joe Biden on Monday issued a comprehensive list...
BREAKING: AOC claims she was nearly raped by Trump’s inauguration ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has made the audacious claim that she was nearly raped by Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration...
BREAKING: Biden pardons several ‘totally innocent’ people for crimes they didn’t commit
In a surprising last-minute decision, President Joe Biden has issued preemptive pardons for several individuals he describes as "totally innocent"...
BREAKING: Biden pardons all criminals except cute old grandma who waved flag in Capitol Jan 6
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has issued an executive order pardoning all federal criminals and transferring their collective sentences to an...
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider
WASHINGTON, DC—Donald Trump has announced that the Genesius Times will replace CNN as the official White House Fake News provider....
BREAKING: Many ‘totally innocent’ people begging for presidential pardons for the crimes they didn’t commit
WASHINGTON, DC—A parade of individuals, who swear on their mother's honor they've committed no crimes, are now clamoring for presidential...
