Blackface is abhorrently offensive to sensible people, but not more than white skin color. That’s why most Black Lives Matter protests across the country are mandating that white people wear blackface while protesting racism to hide their offensive whiteness.

“We want an end to racism, period,” Rizza Malik of BLM Poughkeepsie said. “That’s why we mandate that every white person wear blackface while they are advocating an end to racism with us. It’s the only way.”

Most allies are totally on board even if it means spending a little more time donning the black makeup in the hot summer weather.

“It makes a lot of sense,” Patricia Watkins of Brooklyn said. “I mean white people are horrible and people of color shouldn’t have to look at us if we can help it.”

“Like, white skin is literally offensive to me. I feel like I’m being violently attacked every time I see it,” Monica Johnson, who is a person of color said. “So, like yeah, this is a good thing.”

“It is our goal to have all whites wearing blackface by the end of the year,” Antifa San Francisco CEO Flitz Schitz said, wearing blackface of his own. “We thought maybe wearing all black clothing would be enough, but it’s really not. You need to wear blackface or else you are a racist bigot.”

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Exavier Saskagoochie

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