Bill Gates has installed several sharknados in the tropical storm Cristobal making landfall later today. He says that he’s working on the cure.
“Life is not going to return to normal for these affected areas until we find a cure for the problem I created,” Gates said in a teleconference from his home in Seattle. “We’re about 8 months away from a cure. Until we have that, everyone should be very afraid.”
The sharknado epidemic is the latest in a devastating spat of natural and man-made diesasters that have befallen the United States in a choreographed effort to defeat Donald Trump in November.
After impeachment failed, figures from the Deep State have been trying everything to unset the controversial president including releasing a deadly novel coronavirus, importing deadly murder hornets, and, most recently, launching violent protests over something everyone agrees on.
“If the sharknados don’t do the trick, we’ll have to go to plan C,” Gates said before letting out an evil depopulation laugh.
Gates left his position on the Microsoft and Berkshire Hathaway boards to focus on killing innocent people through biological weapons in February.