BREAKING: Gavin Newsom appoints Dianne Frankenstein to vacant Senate seat
SACRAMENTO—In a stunning move that left many Californians scratching their heads, Governor Gavin Newsom has appointed none other than Dianne Frankenstein to fill the Senate seat left vacant by the recent passing of Dianne Feinstein. Apparently, in California politics, when one Dianne exits stage left, another Frankenstein takes her place.
Newsom, known for his unorthodox decisions and distinctive hairstyle, seemed unfazed by the confusing choice of replacing a Dianne with a Frankenstein. “We believe in recycling and reusing here in California,” Newsom declared, “and what better way to honor Senator Feinstein’s legacy than by bringing in a ‘reanimated’ version of her to continue the good work?”
Frankenstein, a towering figure with bolts in her neck and an affinity for lightning storms, seemed eager to take on the responsibilities of a Senate seat. “I promise to electrify the Senate with my policies,” she declared, inadvertently causing the lights in the press conference room to flicker ominously.
However, skeptics wondered whether Frankenstein’s unconventional approach to governance would sit well with her colleagues in the Senate. “I’ve never seen a Senator with green skin before,” remarked one bemused reporter. “Will she be lobbying for equal rights for monsters too?”
In response, Frankenstein assured the public that she had evolved since her days of rampaging through European villages and throwing villagers into windmills. “I’ve matured, and I’m ready to represent all Californians, living or undead,” she stated.
Political opponents wasted no time in seizing on the opportunity to criticize the appointment. “First, Newsom dines at the French Laundry during a lockdown, and now he’s resurrecting classic horror movie characters to serve in the Senate,” one Republican strategist quipped. “What’s next, a zombie from ‘Night of the Living Dead’ as the state treasurer?”
As Dianne Frankenstein takes her seat in the Senate, only time will tell whether she’ll be a shocking success or simply another lightning rod for controversy in California’s ever-unpredictable political landscape.
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