Kamala giddy to find out who she picked for her VP
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President Kamala Harris was brimming with excitement Tuesday morning when she discovered, like most Democrats, who her VP pick was on MSNBC’s “Morning Mika.”
“Just like every other Democrat, I saw my VP pick announced on Morning Mika, and I’m absolutely over the moon!” Harris gushed in an impromptu press conference. “This is democracy at its finest—getting to know who my partner in leadership is, right along with the rest of America!”
The identity of Harris’s VP pick, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, was revealed in what is being hailed as a bold and innovative approach to modern governance. No backroom deals, no secret phone calls—just the raw, unfiltered surprise that Morning Mika delivers daily.
However, not everyone in the White House has been brought up to speed on this breaking news. Unfortunately, the announcement came before 10:00 am, so President* Biden has yet to be notified. White House insiders report that the President* has a strict policy of avoiding any updates before his afternoon pudding cup.
In the meantime, hundreds of potential Democrat VP picks breathed a collective sigh of relief as the name “Walz” scrolled across their screens.
“It’s political suicide being yoked to this administration. Nice to know you, Walz,” said a jubilant Senator Mark Kelly, raising a glass in what was reportedly the happiest toast of his career. “Honestly, I was half-expecting to wake up to my name, and that would have been a real nightmare.”
Other hopefuls, who had secretly been prepping their acceptance speeches for weeks, were seen smiling sheepishly in public for the first time since Harris took office. Governor Gavin Newsom, rumored to have cleared his schedule just in case, was spotted popping champagne at a Napa Valley vineyard.
As for Walz, the reaction was less than enthusiastic. Sources close to the Congressman say he was last seen staring blankly at his television, muttering something about “accidental career endings” and “friendly fire.”
In a brief statement, Harris reassured the American public, “We’re all in this together—literally. I’m just as surprised as you are. But hey, surprises are what make life interesting, right?”
Whether this unconventional announcement strategy will become a Democratic tradition remains to be seen. One thing’s for sure: Kamala Harris’s VP pick has certainly set a new standard for transparency, spontaneity, and utter confusion in American politics.
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