The Democratic debates have been a lackluster auction of government handouts using other people’s money. But the next one proves to be something special as the DNC has decided to drop the ostensibly civilized environment of a debate with the gritty surroundings of the mixed martial arts octagon arena.

The headline fight will be between Tulsi Gabbard and Hillary Clinton who has yet to officially declare herself a nominee but who is seriously thinking about losing to Trump in 2020.

“We thought that our ratings would be better if we just cut the crap and let these two women duke it out,” DNC Chairperson Lex Luthor said. “And since Gabbard has so many ties to Russia, the debate will be held in Moscow.”

Vegas oddsmakers have Tulsi eking out a victory in the first 23 seconds as Hillary shrieks for her life like Jeffrey Epstein did before she suicided him.

Gabbard and Clinton are already hyping the fight of the century on the Twitter:

About Author

Exavier Saskagoochie

Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He’s really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!

See author's posts